day four: wonderfully made

During the forty days of Lent from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday (forty days not counting Sundays), Jayme Thompson and I will post daily devotionals on this blog to help guide you through the season. Lent is an ancient tradition in the church intended to be a time of focusing on the cross. To help us in this pursuit, we are studying the book of Hebrews in a series called, "Journey of Hope". It is appropriate that we use this book during our fast, as the theme of Hebrews is "Fix your eyes on Jesus.

Wonderfully Made
Jayme Thompson

Because she is mine she is perfect. My daughter is wonderfully made. She’s creative and smart and tenderhearted and brave and a million other things that I adore. You, however, might not be able to see these qualities. In fact, there’s a good chance you’d meet her and think, “Wow, that kid is kind of a brat.” …In that case, we’d both be right.

I dreamed a dream of a child that would always obey, always listen, always respond to teaching, and always want to do what I want. Ummm, things aren’t quite that way. Hey, I’m flexible – I dreamed another dream of a child that would be quick to repent, grateful for forgiveness, and responsive to very, very gentle discipline. Ummm, that plan seems to be a no-go too. She’s not an easy one; but I love her too much to let her hit the dog, run in front of cars, open the door to a hot oven, undo her seat belt, and you don’t want to know the rest of this list. She has had some very bad ideas.

So have I. That’s what I’m spending 40 days saying to God. Most of my confession goes like this, “God, I’ve been stupid and insanely stubborn about it. I don’t know why I act like I know more than You do. I don’t. God You are smarter than me – I admit it. Save me from my bad ideas. Help me love Your ideas. Please.”

God requires that I obey perfectly, but He knows I can’t, so He sent Jesus to do it for me. Through His word He encourages me to be quick to repent, grateful for forgiveness, and responsive to His gentle discipline. Sometimes I’m not. He loves me too much to ignore my mistakes so I lose one freedom after another. Simple concepts like, “Have no other gods before Me” get incredibly complicated. The Ten Commandments turn into the ten thousand commandments until I get absolutely strangled by the difficulty of living a life I’m not capable of living and nearly drowned in a sea of guilt and shame that should be underneath my feet. Like Peter, I finally cry out, “Lord save me!” and He does. Then for at least a few moments things get simple again.

I long for my life to be a beautiful reflection of Jesus or better yet a window you can see straight through all the way to who He is. God help me, I don’t want to be a cautionary tale. The truth is, just like my daughter, I’m a wonderful brat – a bit of both. Jesus, the great storyteller will use my life to teach everything He can: the good, the bad, and the ugly. As Rick often reminds us, “He who knows me the best, loves me the most.” Jesus will never patronize and He will never pretend; and one day when He presents me to God our Father He say this, “Because she is mine, she is perfect.”

By the way, as I think about my daughter’s disobedience, it occurs to me that a lot of times I set her up for failure. Not enough rest, no snack, too much stimulation – she’s not mature enough to overcome those obstacles. She behaves better in environments that acknowledge who she is. Likewise, most of my mistakes happen when I set myself up for failure. I need to know who I am and who I’m not and engage life accordingly.

Toward that end, today I’m meditating on Psalm 139. I hope it will be helpful to you too.

1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.